Tuesday 15 October 2019

Newsjack Jokes that didn't make it

Another week sails by as my Newsjack submission ignores the lighthouse and crashes onto the rocks of the BBC. The search for a punchline that works continues...

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BREAKING NEWS:


In the U.S. this week it’s been reported that American Cheese is in decline as millennials refuse to eat the pre-sliced foodstuff in favour of less processed alternatives, such as Cheddar. It’s the only time you’ll hear this woke generation support Donald Trump’s call to “Make America grate again.”

It has been recently reported that twenty-two student housing projects in the UK are currently unfinished, leaving students in temporary accommodation. The developers have been awarded a degree of incompetence.

GOOD WEEK / BAD WEEK:

It’s been a bad week for a quarter of the world’s mammals as a report from the State of Nature has revealed that they are facing imminent extinction due to climate change. It’s been a good week for the other three quarters as one of those predicted to die out is Donald Trump.

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In other news, we're off to Wigan on Thursday for rapping at "Something New" at The Old Courts and then on Sunday I'm back in North Wales, this time with my guitar, at Ty Fry, Bodelwyddan.

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The latest Youtube video parody has less than 30 views. Which isn't a lot. If you'd like to join this exclusive clique click here.

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