The expected read-through instead resembled an autopsy.
Fifteen minutes in it was clear there were some tweaks to make. At the thirty minute mark large chunks of the first few pages had more annotations than typed text. An hour passed and we still weren't halfway through a very modestly sized script. Two hours later and the script was consigned to a bin marked, "for the disposal of scripts attempting to combine elements of Ru Paul's Drag Race with the Carry On films," and we were back to where we started with seven solidly decent songs and no way of tying them together.
This wasn't all down to my writing. This was the third draft. In version one our characters started out with Angela as the low status but lovable innocent and Annie as her wayward but worldly friend. Version two rebalanced the statuses which in itself unbalanced the comedy and by version three some kind of power dynamic had been re-established but to the cost of the content, which had by this point got surprisingly crude with the possibility that more sensitive souls may even think we were punching down at times.
The next day we brainstormed. Annie and Angela would still be the same forty-something Essex alumni sans-husbands but with the additional twist of having been in a nineties girl band which split up thanks to a mishap on a club 18-30 holiday detailed in the first track. The harsh stereotypes often typified by Drag Race contestants (and much drag in general) were out, softer and more relatable characters were in. Angela unknowingly middle class, Annie still stuck in 1997 adolescence.
Since then a new song has been written to set the scene. Having failed to convincingly rip off The Spice Girls, All Saints or even Atomic Kitten we went to the second tier. There will be no prizes for guessing who when you hear it - though aficionados will be relieved to hear I stopped short of basing us on Vanilla.
As every festival this summer, including my own Glossop Comedy Festival, start to wobble will-they-won't-they thanks to the pandemic we do know that at least one will go ahead regardless in online form so rehearsals continue. I also finished the official video game of the show this week (pictured), 1984 want their platformer back. Play it here: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/369638905/
Anything Goes is also pushing ahead with its virtual open mic on April 9th. If you'd like to be involved get in contact to submit 5-10 minutes of funny to the playlist I'm compiling. There's no money involved, but then there wasn't any with the physical version either - it's just a good place to throw some new material to the wind and see what people think. I will be hosting as usual, from where has yet to be decided now we've invested in a green screen...
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